Sometimes we are concerned with being right and we don't stop to think that our comments or our actions might hurt another person's feelings. We don't always get enough validation in this world, or perhaps we did not receive enough validation from our parents and our teachers and the people who were around us when we were growing up, so we try to be right and find validation now in this world, sometimes at the expense of other people. It is okay to have a different opinion from another person. But it is not our job or responsibility to try to convince everybody else that they are either wrong or that they have an inaccurate perception of a certain subject. We have enough to do just trying to keep ourselves on the straight and narrow. If you're going to say anything that's critical, try to find the sweetest way, the least insulting way to present your point of view. In doing so, you are more likely to get a favorable response from the other party. Nobody is going to pay attention to you, or validate what you are saying if they feel attacked. And validation is what you are looking for after all, isn't it? Sometimes in our youth we think that we know everything. Sometimes we find out later that we did not know everything after all. Ouch. As we mature we may begin to realize that we don't require validation from anyone else. That is just living in victim mode. We are powerless and everyone else but us has power over us. WRONG! When we accept responsibility for our lives and our choices, and we give ourselves permission to become self-validating, we no longer seek nor need validation from anyone else. However, we need to be very clear with ourselves about how high we set the bar as far as ethics go. Don't cheat yourself by placing that bar too low, or you never really will achieve the self-esteem and the self-validation that you seek because it will be based on standards that are inadequate. When we show humility and humbleness, we become empowered. It's through being non-offensive, tolerant, and truly caring of others that we can gain the most respect from the people around us. There's an old saying that you attract more flies with honey than with vinegar. It's also true that you attract more friends and respect with sweetness than with bitterness. It's interesting to note that the kinder we are to others, the better we feel about ourselves. And you will find that people will tell you how much they appreciate your kindness and your thoughtfulness. It will make you unique in this world. This world is a harsh place sometimes. When you can be a safe space of healing, of love, of non-judgment, you will discover your greatest power. Your energy will shift into a magnetic state. You will find that good luck and love will flow to you while you are in that state. By practicing The Golden Rule, as the old saying goes, doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, you'll find that your life begins to work, and the things that you desire to have in your life will begin to appear. It's by living by The Golden Rule that all things become possible. It's by working through the heart rather than the head that true power is found. You need to be thinking correctly, that is true. But you need to be kind and considerate and loving, to yourself and to others, in order to become empowered in this world. It is from that state that others will find you attractive and will be drawn to you in both business and personal situations. You cannot give out love and kindness to the world without receiving the same back yourself. What you give is what you receive. Having earned the right to self-validate, be generous and spread around lots of validation to others in your life. Living an empowered and self-validating existence has caused you to become a role-model and someone that others can look up to. Teach and show them the way so that they, too, can always have the validation that we all seek. Copyright 2005 Sherry Sims |
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