Mary enjoyed stress relief before the holiday season; however, (Christmas) holiday stress seems to overwhelm her and cause her to pull out her hair.

So Mary requested my help in dealing with holiday stress and pulling out her hair.

In order to assist her, I asked Mary to provide me with her concerns that created the havoc of holiday stress?

Here are her answers.

1. I do not have enough time to prepare for the holidays.

Reality Check 1

The Christmas holiday season comes around every 365 days.

Mary's holiday stress and hair pulling developed because she waited until the last minute to start her Christmas preparations. Mary used to get stress relief by the rush of preparing for Christmas and then crashing and burning after Christmas day.

Over the years this rush of stress relief and pulling out her hair has resulted in overwhelming holiday stress. Her survival system (pulling out her hair) which was once so effective is no longer working.

2. I have issues visiting my extended family.

Reality check 2

Holiday stress and hair pulling are created by not accepting people's behavior because you think they should behave differently.

The easiest way to solve the problem of holiday stress and stop pulling out you hair is to become aware of the things about the people that you do not like and accept in advance that that's the way they are going to behave.

Holiday stress and pulling out your hair can become immobilizing when you think you can change somebody. It is not likely to happen.

3.I put pressure on myself to be perfect.

Reality check 3

You may want to prepare the perfect meal and in your desire to be perfect you may leave out an ingredient. A client, let's call her Sue, baked a cake and forgot to include an ingredient. The cake tasted wonderful and she got all kinds of compliments about it.

Sue was still stressing out and pulling out her hair because she was not perfect enough to remember to put in all the ingredients.

If you were to look carefully at yourself, you know about all the silly things you have done, subsequently there is no way you can be perfect. So what is your reason for allowing the feeling of holiday stress and pulling out you hair to creep on you when your cake is not perfect, but yet still enjoyable?

4.I feel guilty if I do not visit my extended family.

Reality check 4

Holiday stress and pulling out your hair can sometimes be created by what you do not do. Mary's concern was that if she did not visit her extended family (In-Laws or out-laws!) she felt guilty.

When Mary understood that she could accept the idiosyncrasies of her extended family if she stopped judging them by her standards, the nasty feeling of holiday stress and pulling out her hair was replaced by the profound experience of amazing holiday stress relief.

5.I don't have time to put the decorations.

Reality check 5

The concept of being perfect was again creating holiday stress for Mary and making her to pull out her hair.She wanted to put up the decorations a certain way and no matter how well her husband and children put up the decorations Mary was unhappy.

She felt that she was the only one who could put up the decorations perfectly. Consequently, her husband and children would sit around and watch television because Mary did not appreciate their help. This behavior really infuriated and inflamed Mary's holiday stress as she continued to pull out her hair.

As a hypnotherapist, NLP Trainer and Energy worker, some of my clients are very myopic in their perceptions of coping strategies for stress. My responsibility is to help them find themselves within themselves.

So what is the moral of the story?

Holiday stress can make you pull out your hair by wanting to have a perfect Christmas holiday.

Profound holiday stress relief can be experienced when you first accept that you are not perfect and by being able to embrace the faults of your extended family.

When you notice your feelings of accepting everybody and everything around you, although they may not meet your standards or expectations, it makes it is easier for you to relax because the pressure of the sound of holiday stress has been neutralized.

Cecil McIntosh

Cecil McIntosh, B.B.M., CHt., is a gifted teacher and coach who is the expert on relaxing. He is the founder, developer, designer, teacher and coach of the Empty Your Cup? (EYC) process.

The (EYC) process facilitates Eastern and Western philosophies. The Eastern philosophy is based on knowing and finding yourself and the Western philosophy is based on material acquisition. The (EYC) process helps you find the appropriate balance between Eastern and Western thinking.

The (EYC) process is a 14 year synthesis of the cutting edge methodologies like Hypnotherapy, Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) and Energy Work. The (EYC) process begins with (EYC) relaxation which is quick and practical. The next step is (EYC) Meditation and then finally (EYC) self-actualization.

Cecil is a member of the Canadian association of NLP (CANLP) and the National Association of Transpersonal Hypnotherapist (NATH). He is the director of research and training for Change Perspective located in Mississauga, Canada.

He had over 25 years of experience in sales and was graduated with a four-year degree in business management from Ryerson Polytechnical Institute. Cecil is also the author of many audio CDs and video products for relaxation and meditation. He provides seminars, workshops and coaching to help you relax anywhere, anytime.

Cecil experienced profound momentum on his journey, when his marriage ended in divorce. He now is enjoying a healthy relationship with his life partner and four children, ages 25, 23, 20, 18 and one granddaughter.